How To: Love the LGBT's you know.
- Ian Haddock
- Jun 2, 2015
- 3 min read
I have had it pretty easy when it comes to my sexuality. When I was younger, I considered myself pretty effeminate, but as I grew older, I grew into my masculinity as time progressed. Some would say I became what society wanted to see; either way,I became who I am today. Still though, it was an ever growing sentiment with my family and friends on how to treat me and what was respectable to say to me being a black, gay male.
A little background: I come from a devout Christian family of thugs. LOL. No, but for real. We went to church and shouted and went home and made things happen. Masculinity and the Bible were the books of life I was taught by.
So, in wake of Caitlyn Jenner allowing us to see her transition and gender expression openly, I know it may be a little different for folks, even me in some respects. So, as a person, how do you appropriately deal with these people who may different from you who you know and love?
Here are a few tips:
1. RESPECT.
Respect is a right or obligation and not based on your moral compass or ethical values. I myself prefer a person to accept me, but the important part is to understand without judgment. I hear so many different reasons why people don't want to respect all kinds of people different than them, but the reality is respect should not be a choice and any excuse you have for not doing it "is a monument of nothing."
2. My sex life or gender expression has nothing to do with you unless I am sleeping with you or dating you.
Would it be okay to judge you based on your baby mama/daddy or girl/boyfriend? I'm sure it would not always be so nice, right? So, why should you be able to do that to me. I am a human. I have feelings. Just because I express mine differently than yours, doesn't mean either one of us is right. Why? Because (my/your) perception is our own, personal reality.
3. If you are concerned, ask questions THAT MATTER.
I tell my family and friends all the time that I know when a person is asking questions because they are concerned or if it's out of judgment. It is not important to know who I have sex with or am I the "man" or "woman"... what may be important is HOW I'm having sex, though. Am I protecting myself? Am I having sex because I need a place to stay? Am I having sex out of hurt? These are appropriate questions and transcend sexuality. Also, to add to this point, if you ask be prepared for the answer. Because if you ask me HOW I'm having sex, I will respond, "I'm on PrEP. I got me and thank you for your concern. How are you having sex?" Lol.
4. Love everyone.
That's it. I'm talking to the saved, sanctified, and holy ghost filled people now. As an openly gay man, I want to ask you to, instead of wearing your good Sunday clothes to church, wear everything the church says is sin that you keep in your closet to church next Sunday. See how that feels. Then, leave church and wear it on a date. Then, go home and lay down and sleep with it. I have been wearing my skeletons openly since 17. I am great with them. Don't bash me because I wear mine... and look cute in it.
I know this is a little funny, but it's serious stuff. As people, we need people. Don't push a person away because they aren't like you. We are all normal anomalies.
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