I'm not addicted, I just like to have fun: My Interview with a Social Drug User

I have never been into drug use- not socially, at home, for fun and I'm not into the thought of being controlled by a substance. No shade to those who are into it. I have been interested in what they do for people, though. In this day and age, if you don't participate in extracurriculars socially, you may not have a fun time-- whether that's "420" or coke and now Tina. I wanted to know about the phenomenon without actually having to try any of it. So, I decided to sit down with someone who does drugs socially to ask them some honest questions about drug use from their perspective. Because of the sensitivity of this topic, they have decided to do this interview anonymously. So let's get right into an excerpt from it.

The Normal Anomaly: What drugs do you or have you used?

Anonymous: I have tried pretty much everything from weed to heroine. I could never do heroine again because that shit have you up all night. (Laughs out Loud)

TNA: How did your drug use start?

A: Well, interesting enough it started outside of this club (Bartini's-- an old, gay spot that use to be the spot for Black, Gays almost everyday of the week). It was simple. I started smoking Black N Milds because it helped increase the fun when I was getting turnt. All I did was go to the club, have a few drinks and dance the night away. Then, I started dating the dope man and he got me on "X" pills. X Pills were my life. N***a, I would be excited, hyper, horny and goofy all at the same time. It's like where the hell were these pills all my life. Most people seem to start with smoking weed first, though, so I guess I'm a little backwards.

TNA: I heard sex is crazy on X Pills. What's the difference in sex sober and sex high?

A: I guess you are just willing to go a little further. You can go much longer and for more rounds. Bottoms can become tops, tops can become bottoms when you're on a pill. It's like Viagra for younger people. Only thing I hate is I can't seem to nut when I'm on a good pill. It's like I'm an Energizer Bunny and, sometimes, I will let the other person get a couple (orgasms) and just go clean up (cuz I can't seem to fall asleep).

TNA: Are X Pills your drug of choice or what is it?

A: (Laughs out loud) Coke. Definitely. With Coke, I can control how high I want to be unlike with X Pills. Once you take that pill, you are on it until it wears out. Something else I hated about X Pills, is depending on my mood, it created the emotions I would feel. If I was pissed, I would be ready to fight on a pill. If I was silly, I would be a comedian on a pill. I don't feel the same way with Coke. Plus, Coke is more of a social drug. You gain new friends and people to date when you do it out.

TNA: I've always said Coke was a social drug. Do you believe people are pressured into coke use because of their cliques?

A: People are grown man and I think everyone wants to try it out at least. Well, most drugs that is. That tina is a b***h though.

TNA: How did you come into trying out coke, then?

A: I was going to take a piss me and my homeboy. He would always stand by the door turned away from me and hold the door because there were no locks on the doors. When I finished pissing, I turned around and he had the bag in his hand. I didn't even know he did coke. Then, he just scooped some in his finger nail and put up to my nose. Before I knew it, I had sniffed it and was high. Been doing it socially since.

TNA: I'm not trying to be shady, but you don't think that's pressure?

A: Well, when you say it like that. (Laughs out loud)

TNA: Generally, why do you think people do drugs? Is that the reason you do them?

A: Well, like I said before drugs are social. To some extent, it gives you some social clout. The gay clubs are a bunch of people running from their reality, too man. With all of our stage names and aliases, most of us aren't happy people. When you go into the club and they think you are this "Boy" or that "Girl" or big dick or fat ass that everyone wants, it does something for you. So many things we deal with on a daily basis and drugs are one of those things that help us escape them. Honestly, I don't look at drugs and alcohol as that much different. It's all a cover up and it's fun. Yes, I definitely do them for the same reason. I don't think about all this when I go buy my 20 (dollar) bag (of Coke). I just say I want to have fun, but in my subconscious I am looking for relief and escape.

TNA: What happens when you can't be social, but you got some bad news, depressed or just had an overall bad day?

A: I be looking for the dope man. (Laughs out loud) I want that escape, even if I can't get it from being out, I want it in the drug.

TNA: I'm thankful for your honesty. I'll say, I am a little biased. I was raised around drugs in my childhood and so I have a very bitter taste towards even the thought of drug use. Still, I feel like you represent a great part of the community. I stay away from judgment because I have my own vices, but would you say you have an issue or it's all just fun?

A: I think it's an issue when I need it everyday. It's an issue when I can't make it without it. I can deal with life without it, it just makes it easier. I've never been in trouble for it and, more often than not, don't do it outside the club. Most of my friends sit around the kitchen table and do it , but I'm all about the fun aspect. I did tell myself though, if it gets to dependence, I will seek help. Only time will tell, but I think I have it pretty much under control.

TNA: Once again, thank you for your honesty. It's hard being black, gay, attractive and popular in this community. People have been asking me to speak on this subject and I did not want to be biased so I am glad that you have been so kind to allow for your honesty to talk about the normal anomaly in drug use.

A: No problem, man. Thank you for creating a space like this where us black gays can come and read about things that we deal with in our culture-- even if it isn't pretty.

If you know a person with a drug or alcohol dependency, you can call 1-888-599-4340.