Don't Leave a Rock, When You Know He Wants a Nut: Hook-Up 101

Hooking up is truly an art. I mean we all know how to get someone in the room. Still, making it a comfortable, inviting, unawkward situation for everyone involved means you have to have a certain skill set. I have been in all kind of hook-up situations from having to stand in the closet because the boyfriend came home to being invited back by the boyfriend to sex in the woods and job meet-ups; in all this, you have to be clear on all the specifications of hooking up for a memorable experience. So, take some of my ideas and run with them-- some of them you should know and others may be new concepts but here goes.

1. Smell test.

There are a couple different pieces to the smell test. The first one is your own smell test: reach down in your underwear and make sure you smell fresh. I know you are probably saying, "Nah, you need to go take a damn shower if you have to do a smell test." The truth of the matter is a shower is not always needed; I know many people that like a little musk (not to be confused with must), others are coming for very specific reasons and coming straight by from work or meeting up at work would require just a smell test and possible refresher. The point is make sure you smell right before getting naked. The other part of that is to smell your partner. I know I have said some people are into smells, but unless this is confirmed that it will be that type of situatio don't make them have a wreaking smell coming from your hotspots. No one wants to put their mouth or genitalia in something their nose doesn't want to come close to. You should always practice adequate hygiene, but for a sexual meet-up, you should be in tip top shape.

2. Get clarity around what all is happening.

Even if this means whatever happens will happen, you need to be prepared for that occasion. Nothing is worse than having a sword fight or bumpin snatches (I mean, unless you are into that).I don't enjoy the first message asking me what my sexual position preference is, but at some point that kind of question is essential. Sex is not rocket science, but it does require some sense of compatibility. Get real clear on what the plans are before leaving the house or going to open your door.

3. Condoms or no condoms?

We are a judgmental people so I recognize that having this conversation (especially if you prefer raw) is a hard conversation, but it is essential. If you prefer condoms and you have a hook-up, then meeting up without this conversation leads to issues. What happens when you really want penetration and you refuse to have condomless sex and you thought he brought condoms? The truth is you will probably leave upset or you will choose to trust your instincts that this person won't transmit anything to you. To the people who prefer raw sex, nothing is worse than attempting to put on a condom and going soft or having to pull out so they won't feel you cum inside them or wondering if this person's status matches yours. Whatever you like, there are people who share the same desire. The point I am making is having these conversations ends up being a lot easier than not.

4. Help him finish.

I know this seems like a no-brainer, but helping him finish is a necessity. No, not barely sucking his nipples or half kisses-- or worse, sitting next to him and just looking. Help that boy finish! If he was good enough to bring you to a decent climax, you should be able to facilitate the same, at the very least. Plus, practice makes perfect. If you plan on having a long term relationship or fuck buddy, you need to learn how to please them even outside of when you are at your most horny state. Don't leave a rock when you know he wants a nut.

Hook-ups are pretty normal, let's not make them lackluster.

-The Normal Anomaly