Friends: How many of us have them?

Ian Haddock
Dec 5, 2015
2 min read

Friendships are usually some of the longest "relationships" we exist in. Seems like we live in a society of microwave dating situations and prepaid family acquaintances that may garner us very little happiness in our other relationships. In this, it is hard to have friendships that are continuously flourishing. Friendships, like any other relationship, requires work- hard, continuous work. Sometimes, it is hard to realize our own faults so I decided to tell you some of mine that have happened in the past to hopefully help you save some of your friendships.

1. It's always about you.

Your feelings, your circle, your life, your problems, your, your, your. If that isn't bad enough, then after your things are solved or able to be worked through, you leave-- or hang up. One sided relationships are never a good thing.

2. Your friendships have no rules.

This is a huge one. All friendships don't have to have the same rules, but rules are necessary. For instance, all my friends know a sexual encounter is a sexual encounter, but if I dated him, that person is off limits-- potentially forever. That doesn't mean everyone should abide by this. Everyone, on the other hand, should have some sense of accountability.

3. You and your friend consistently have sex.

This is a sticky one. I've seen very (VERY) few friends that can have a sexual relationship and a platonic friendship. Sex, even though it is extremely accessible, is either disconnected and based strictly on ejaculation or intimate based on connection. Any connection makes these waters murky and, if you aren't mature enough, can ruin a friendship.

4. You are friends for a benefit.

Simply put: ride, popularity, money, clout, club, dope, weed, liquor, couch, etc... You catch my drift.

5. You are in competition with each other- about everything.

Friendly competition is awesome. Nothing is more tiring, though, than feeling like there is a constant competition between you and someone you're close with. For the majority of people, we are already competing in our careers and, to some extent, life. When you call a good friend, you don't want to feel like it's a run around the track.

6. You are not on the same page as them.

One of you is working hard, building a brand and cultivating your personal empire and the other is, well, not. Friendships should be built of a support system to help catapult you to the next level. If one is complacent and comfortable in a less than stellar position, it probably isn't beneficial to the other.

Now, I could go on and on about what keeps friendships from working, but I think this is a good start. My whole point of writing my truths down is so that we can see that it is normal to deal with these issues, but more important to get through them. Friendships are important, but how many of us really have them?